Friday, May 17, 2013

Submission

by Kayley

People that eat on the bus need to take a good look at themselves. If your life is SO hectic that you need to eat on a dirty, smelly, vile, packed bus, then I think that you need to re-evaluate you life.

In the future, I cannot be responsible for my actions, which may include (but are not limited to):

- Ramming your stinky pasty down your throat
- Grabbing it off of you and throwing out of the window whilst screaming at you, or
- Slapping it to the floor and jumping on it eight times.


I don't want to smell your food or watch you eating it. Have some manners, have some respect.

Monday, May 13, 2013

This morning I got to the bus stop and it was empty.

GLORIOUS!

No secondhand smoke, no stupid little schoolkids, no nothing.

Along comes Creepy Bus Lady...and BARGES PAST ME to get a seat on the bus stop.

BARGES!

What the fuck?! There's no one here! You're hardly stuck for space! What on EARTH do you think you're doing you fucking moron?!

Morning ruined.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Submission

by Kiko

If you have a 70kg dog that will obviously occupy 95% of the aisle, why don't you just use a cab or a lorry??!

ESPECIALLY if you see me standing behind you, ready to disembark at the next stop, and you clearly need to move the beast so that the doors can open and I CAN FUCKING MOVE!

Next time, I'll just throw you against the fucking window and walk over you! Not over the dog though, because the lovely pet can't be blamed for having a fucking idiot for an owner!

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Submission

by Olly

If teenagers on buses are really as unintelligent as they seem, then I fear for the future of humanity.

If, on the other hand, they are just making out they are moronic because that's whats cool these days, then I fear for the future of humanity!

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Hygiene, fellow bus users.

Learn it, and fucking use it.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

To the girl with the hideous lip piercing, wearing a tracksuit and taking her daughter for a ride on the bus,

Just to make you aware, if I ever hear you telling your little girl to throw her sweets 'at the old people' ever again, I'll throw my sweets at YOU.

Scratch that. I'll throw my fists at you, and aim for your face.

I take it back.

What I'll ACTUALLY do is pick YOU up, and fucking throw YOU.

This is, of course, assuming that my knees remain strong and don't buckle under the tonnes of excess weight you have, you fucking disgraceful example of a person.

You fucking disgust me.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Jesus.

The guy sat opposite me on the bus this morning smells like he's had anchovies for breakfast and washed it down with liquified dog shit.

SERIOUSLY, how does he not know that this smell is coming from his mouth?!

It's fucking vile!

My eyes are stinging!!!